Of Darkspawn and Demons
by Dance of the Dead
Summary: Alistair x Zindrafel. What starts as an emotional nightmare decends into something far, far worse. A trip into the deep-roads reveals the worst fears of the Hero of Ferelden and her companions.
1. Chapter 1

Zindrafel stood from her seat, inclining her head as she did so to those gathered at the same table; the two gentlemen sat with her made to stand themselves as she did so, but her raised hand prevented their movements before they got to far.

"Excuse me." She announced, giving no reason for her sudden movements. She took a few moments to straighten her long dress before she headed away from the table and towards the elegant hallway door. The hall of the castle had been extravagantly decorated in order of the Kings coronation. It was a time for celebration and merriment, Zindrafel knew this and even though the customs of the noble humans was not her own; she understood. Yet she couldn't shake the heavy feeling that the celebration weighed on her, the raw emotion felt a burden in her limbs and she felt like she was moving slowly across the hall. The gazes of those that watched her cross the celebration made her feel self conscious yet she held herself proudly, like the Dalish she was.

She once again inclined her head as the large door was opened before her by two of the royal guards, letting her out into the vastness of the world outside the hall, yet still doomed to the confinement of the castle. She gave a single look back to the merry makers within the room, managing to get a glimpse of the man she had been heartbroken to avoid.

Zindrafel closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she headed to the edge of the balcony; her hands dainty were encased in fine white leather gloves reaching well up her forearms. She looked down at herself and almost crumbled, failing to recognise the elven maiden that she saw. Long flowing gown of deep blue embellished with wondrous details of spun silver and studded gem stones. She looked all the part to play maiden, but knew that she was not fit for the role; nor was it afforded to her. She scoffed at the reasoning; Dalish were not suited to the affairs of the human court, especially not in the position that she had earned through her heart. Zindrafel rested her hands upon the edge of the balcony and she opened her eyes, looking near dreamily to the waning moon and the open sky above her.

Her near serene expression soured only slightly as she heard a roaring laughter coming from the hallway and she murmured a curse under her breath to the loudness of their happiness, knowing that the cynical thoughts were just her bitterness after what she had been forced to witness, her head lowered away from the attractive sky once more. She longed for her bow and to be out in the forests hunting again, she longed for the Grey Wardens to be tracking down the Darkspawn once again, she longed for anything that wasn't this!

Zindrafels' expression deepened into a harsher frown as she heard the door to her solitude opening to allow another of the party goers out into the fresh air; she had little right to the time alone on such an occasion, she craved it all the same. She had to get her thoughts straight before she returned to the joyous gathering.

"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" She heard a familiar voice asking her and she felt her heart skip a beat, stammering before she gathered her composure. "Not as beautiful as you, I might add. I never knew you looked so good in a dress."

Zindrafel could hear the ring of humour to Alistairs' voice and she couldn't help but let a smile grace her features where her frown had just been placed. Equally, she couldn't bite her tongue and she turned to face him, leaning against the stone barricade.

"And you finally look fit enough to be King." She complimented him, giving a slight courtesy towards the royal.

Alistair couldn't hold her gaze as she did; it felt so out of place between them. "Enough!" He commanded her simply, although the tone of his single word wasn't raised. "I'd much rather be that royal bastard than have you give me special treatment. Why are you out here?" He asked, changing the subject quickly.

Zindrafel felt the smile wipe from her face as quickly as it had appeared, she drew closer to the tall human and studied him closely, the silence lingering as she looked. His heavy armour glinted against the stars and he wore the metal well, the pauldrons made his shoulder look broad and his chest square. She already knew that he was strong, but to wear the heavy ceremonial armour all day was an achievement that deserved merit on its own accord. Zindrafel reached out her gloved hand to touch crest that adorned the breastplate as she spoke. "I watched you get married today." She tried to keep her voice level as she spoke. "While I understand that it is required for the benefit of Ferelden; I cannot bare to think of you settling down every night to sleep with another, let alone her." She confessed though her announcement did little to relieve the weight on her mind. "And eventually, what we had will fade, filtering like sand through an hourglass." She could feel herself shaking, which had nothing to do with the cool breeze of the evening.

Alistair raised his hand to touch her cheek and carefully wiped a tear that had fallen down her face, putting his other arm around her he pulled her close, giving the only comfort to his lover that he knew how. "That will never happen." He promised, and she almost believed his conviction and before she could refute his statement he interjected; "I don't love Anora, I don't even like her. Every time I look at her she reminds me of her Father. She reminds me of his betrayal." He found the later words harder to digest, bringing back that harsh memory of the battle-field wasteland that they'd left behind at Ostagar all those months ago. Time had past and even though justice had been brought to the traitor; his actions still hurt.

"I knew it was going to be difficult." Zindrafel spoke openly with the newly appointed monarch. "I knew that from the moment I announced I was going to stay in Denerim." Her mood lightened only a moment for the conspiratorial gossip they had shared many times back in camp. "Did you see her face when you appointed me your advisor?" She chided.

"Hell froze over!" Alistair joined in, forgetting the serious mood for the time being, "All nine levels of it!"

Zindrafel laughed to the expression and made to move away from where she was being held, only to find his grip tightened enough to stop her from escaping. "She doesn't know about us, I mean, she knows that we are both Grey Wardens, she knows we are friends and that we travelled together. She might even suspect, but she doesn't know." Alistair confided in her.

Zindrafel nodded, not certain on how to react to the news; they hadn't exactly been subtle with their affection towards one another. "Maybe we should try and keep it that way until the freshness of your coronation and marriage has blown over?" She suggested.

"I love you, I won't ever deny it." Alistair told her, his voice softening once again.

"And I you," She returned, her hand moving from his chest plate to cheek so that she could guide him to kiss her and he did so willingly.

Zindrafel felt her slender, pointed ear twitch slightly as music started from within the guest hall and she gave Alistair a small rather hesitant smile. "You should go and have your first dance." She teased him.

Rather than return with the usual wit and banter that she expected him to his expression looked pained. "This is going to sound hopelessly romantic, but, I wanted my first dance to be with you."

Zindrafel fixed him with one of her more intense looks, trying to figure out if she was talking to witty Alistair or the more serious variation that often emerged. "Can you even dance?" She asked him after careful consideration.

"Erm, No." Alistair confessed, his hand moved to play with the short cropped hair at the back of his neck feeling ultimately sheepish having brought it up.

Zindrafel gave a small sigh careful not to show any impatience with Fereldens new King. "Then we have the perfect excuse." She announced to him. "It would do no good for the King to take to the floor and not know what he was doing." She beamed a brilliant smile as she took his hand in hers, holding it out in place, her other hand went to his shoulder guard, the heavy plate would make things a little awkward for them; more so the difference in height between them. "Put your hand on my waist." She instructed him; even with the metal gauntlet on his hand she could tell he was being gentle with her and his consideration made her smile. "Raise your hand a bit higher." She told him.

Alistair moved his hand a fraction higher as he was told. "Here?"

"Higher." Zindrafel guided, talking a small step closer into the hold.

"Here?" Alistair asked once again

"Higher." She repeated, looking into her dance partners face.

"Here?" Came the repetition, a cautious tone to his voice had crept in and he felt warmth rising to his cheeks; he was all too aware of where his hand was placed and where she had led him.

"You're cute when you blush." Zindrafel told him almost plainly, though the tone of her voice gave hint to her more playful nature.

Alistair gave her a playful nudge; "You walked me right into that." He laughed, shaking his head, trying to get his cheeks to cool down.

"Step forwards." Zindrafel instructed once again. "You lead, I follow. It cannot be done any other way." She had full confidence in his ability to lead, she always had done. Be it in battle, fighting the Darkspawn, or in a simple waltz on a balcony. Although she had originally hated humans for their misplaced resentment in her people she had found that her opinion of their kind had mostly changed when she met the Grey Warden; Duncan, more so when she had taken over the Order and fallen in love with the only other surviving member who now held her in his arms.

Alistair stepped forwards and she took a step back keeping the distance between them closed. She nodded once and continued to instruct him on how to dance, ready to face the hall of guests for the inevitable dance he'd have to perform with Queen Anora.

"Good." She encouraged him as they continued the simplest form of dance and once he had the three moves mastered she stopped. "Now listen to the music." Zindrafel commented, noting that their timing had been dreadful. "Follow it; each step should start on a beat." She explained.

Alistair nodded, "New beat, new step. Got it." He smiled to her and took a moment to listen to the rhythm that the band in the main hall continued to play. Zindrafel followed the lead that Fereldens King set in motion. The pace was easy and she quickly felt relaxed in his hold, the music enveloping the two of them until there was nothing else; only them and the music. Her head lowered and she rested it against the cool metal across his chest, their dancing circling around the small balcony. It had felt like an eternity since they could enjoy one another's company in such a private moment; she could recall it. One early evening back at the party camp, before even the thought of Alistair becoming King had crossed any of their minds. Back when the biggest threat to their blossoming love was the being slain during the Blight.

The creaking of the balcony door made Zindrafel move with the grace that had served her well during the blight that she had been recalling and she backed away from Alistair, given their conversation earlier on having to be discreet about their affections towards one another.

"I will make the arrangements, my Lord." She spoke as though the conversation had been about business all along, lest the guard who had opened the door be suspicious of what they had been doing, let alone the woman whom he held the door open for; Queen Anora.

"Arrangements?" Alistair questioned, initially rather dumbfound by the sudden movements, he'd been about to ask if he had stepped on her toes, before realising what had happened. "Yes, see to it that you do." He added.

"Arrangements?" The question came for a second time. "You are talking business at a time like this?" Anora chastised them both, glaring between the two of them.

"Yes." Zindrafel stated, her back straightening to the look, feeling suddenly for the need to be defensive. "Alistair and I have some final business to do as Grey Wardens." She added her mind quick to think up a reason for them to be discussing matters during his wedding reception. "We need to go to Highever, there is something ..." She didn't have time to finish her sentence.

"Makers Breath! Your right!" Alistair interjected suddenly. "I can't believe I'd forgotten." He added with a forlorn tone to his voice, the mood suddenly changing on the balcony from one of tension to one of regret and sadness. Zindrafel moved closer to her grieving lover and placed her delicately gloved hand on his shoulder.

"It's all right Alistair," She ignored the continuing glare she received from Anora as she addressed the King without the proper honorific, trying her best not to embrace him and give him the comfort that he would need now that the subject of their lost companion had been brought up. "Leave everything to me." She added about the trip they would have to undertake in order to get to Highever.

"Thank you." He said, his own hand briefly touching her shoulder. "I mean it. Thank you." He added, giving her a smile that she understood to mean more than just for her recent offer. Without directly telling her; he had once again told her that he loved her, and had treasured the moment that they had just shared before their privacy had been invaded, a smile that she returned.

She gave a slight nod of a bow in Alistair's direction and gave a short curtsey to Queen Anora, "Your highness." She excused herself once more from their presence and rejoined the gathering in the main hall. She looked behind her to see Alistair and Anora speaking with one another, the Queen looking less than impressed. The two royals made their way into the main hall towards the large dance floor, where the band started their second song. The first being the two secret lovers to secretly share.


	2. Chapter 2

The celebrations from the coronation lasted for several days, the general population of Ferelden enjoyed the country wide holiday; but as the jubilant time drew to a close the same people were thankful to return to the toils of their work, happy to be drawing in coin and returning to their own ways of life. As the business of life took over Denerim, Zindrafel found herself at a loss, the change that the blight had brought to her life was something that she couldn't alter now. Now that the crisis had been averted, the citizens of Ferelden could settle once more; yet she felt little peace for her warped ways of life. Zindrafel was of Dalish heritage, now living in the vast castle of the royals and felt swamped with her role as advisor to the King, just as Alistair was uncertain with his role on the throne.

Zindrafel let her thoughts carry her away as she made her way to the stable yard. There was a last matter of Grey Warden business that Alistair and she had to take care of before the King could give up his role among the Wardens and take up the crown permanently. She had made the arrangements for their shared trip to Highever; Queen Anora was to stay behind and manage the estate while the two of them said their last goodbyes to their departed friend. The trip wasn't designed to be a complete get away from their duties however as they would be escorted by Bann Teagan who would keep the pair on the straight and narrow. Zindrafel made her way over to the stables, picking a tackle kit and saddle so she could prepare her horse.

The stead was black, with the exception of his hooves which were white; just like the rest of the thickly built war horses. They were a gift for the new king from Orlais and made perfectly for carrying heavily armoured knights on their strong backs. Zindrafel led the large beast from it's stable into the courtyard, a fixing the saddle to it's back and ensuring the straps were tight enough to keep the leather in place, bridal came next, then the dual heraldry. Over the horses head; fixed to the bridal and the forelegs were the vibrant and clear markings of the King, to the flank the blue and crest of the Grey Wardens. The presentation of her stead was clear, even the leather of it's bridle was understated with little embossed detail to it, simple; just the way that Zindrafel preferred it. Once the horse was dressed she took a brush and ran it thoughtfully through the beasts mane until the sounds of horses hooves on the cobbled stones of the courtyard captured her wandering attention.

The mount that had been walked into the courtyard was unmistakeably Alistairs, and she found herself staring at the majesty of it. The armour covering the blaze on the horses face was ornate and expertly polished, proudly displaying the crest of Ferelden. The fine metalwork continued down the horses neck and legs and down it's flank. Following closely beside the horse was a stable hand, and fussing next to him the crafter of the metalwork. A man local to Denerim well known for his fine craftsmanship, perfectionism and infuriatingly high-pitched voice. The sound of it cut right through Zindrafel as she heard the mans continued moaning about ho a certain part of the armour didn't look as good as the rest; he was begging for a chance to fix it.

"There's no time for that." Zindrafel called to the man as she made her way over. "The armour looks wonderful." She added as a compliment as she continued to admire the metalwork.

"But this part-" Wade tried to object.

"If the lady is happy, then it's fine." Came the voice that always followed Wades; Herren, his lover.

Zindrafel shook her head to the banter and couldn't help but smile, some things never changed; she was glad of that.

"I will see to it that you are paid accordingly for your word Master Smith." Zindrafel said with a bow to the craftsman before taking her leave. She motioned for the stable hand to follow her to the courtyard. A black carriage was already present with two more large war horses pulling, and a cart with a black sheet covering the contents behind it with another two. The entourage was larger than Zindrafel had originally hoped for; her dreams of a private send of for Duncan dashed due to protocol.

Zindrafel waited patiently in front of the castle gates, the horse next to her gave her a nudge with it's nose which had her unbalanced due to it's sheer size; the power behind the beast of burden had her rather unsettled, but image was paramount to the royal family and for her to use a smaller, faster horse would not only be an insult to the royal family; it would be an insult to the nation of Orlais also. She was flattening the leather skirt of her dalish armour when Alistair managed to set foot out of the front door. Queen Anora followed closely behind him; telling him heatedly her opinion of the journey that Grey Wardens had planned.

"Your duty is to your Kingdom." Anora insisted one last time to try and keep the King from leaving.

"My duty is to my friends." Alistair snapped back at her, and made his way over to where Zindrafel stood waiting, taking the reins of his own stead from the stable hand; who backed away from his silent task as soon as Alistair took the leather strapping from him.

Anora threw up her hands as Alistair turned his back on her and re-entered the castle.

"She makes this so much harder than it should be." Alistair complained about the Queen. "She just doesn't seem to understand the fact that I am not Cailan." He spoke as he mounted the horse that he'd just commandeered.

Zindrafel put her hand on the saddle and tried to pull herself up onto the large horse; she failed as the horse moved uncomfortably. She looked over her shoulder as she answered; "Anora is just trying to do what she thinks is right for Ferelden." Her words were not ones that she liked the sounds of herself; between herself and Alistair it was known that the elf shared in Alistairs distaste for the Queen, yet she was also Alistairs advisor and at times her head needed to rule over her heart.

Zindrafel jumped as someone came up behind her, taking hold of her waist and lifting her up as she attempted to get on top of the horse a second time. "The Warden Commander is right." Zindrafel gave the man a scowl, but her face softened as soon as she recognised the voice; Teagan. She nodded her head to him in thanks once she'd settled; feeling rather foolish on such a large mount.

She dared to glance towards Alistair while Teagan made his way to the carriage; after hearing the door shutting closed Zindrafel lent as close as she could to Alistair and with the briefest kiss to his cheek she whispered; "This doesn't mean you get to sulk at me all the way to Highever."

Alistair laughed at her words, the simple statement from his secret lover stopped any foul mood before it truly developed. He kicked the horse into motion as he spoke, "It's just hard to believe that she is right when she spends thousands of Sovereigns on fancy armour while our citizens starve in their homes." Despite the weighty topic he managed to show an upbeat smile towards some children that were waving towards the entourage enthusiastically.

Zindrafel waved in return; getting used to her title as the Hero of Ferelden had come with relative ease. "Alistair, affairs of estate can wait until we return." She told him light-heartedly. "I know this trip isn't all going to be sunshine and lollipops, but can we at least try and have fun?"

"A request like that milady? How can I deny?" He replied affectionately; she smiled back to him.

"Lets just try and forget the nasty business of Anora." Zindrafel said sticking her tongue out in mock disgust; which they both laughed to.

As the crowds diminished past the gates of Denerim the pace of the two lead horses increased, giving them distance between themselves and the rest of the caravan so they could speak more conspiratorially.

"How much does your uncle know?" Zindrafel asked.

"He's an intelligent man, he knows a lot of things. He was telling me the other day about this rare type of insect that can do this really strange thing with it's legs..."

"That's not what I meant." Zindrafel chastised, though it was when Alistair was being daft that she adored him most. "I meant about us."

"Oh. Well. He knows." Alistair answered more seriously. "Everything." He added. "I think he figured it out when we took the Urn of sacred ashes to Eamon." He mused as an after thought.

Zindrafel smiled warmly. "Intelligent indeed, we didn't even know back then."

Alistair laughed once again, but in his usual characteristic way managed to switch the mood of the conversation. "I think he'd prefer it if you were on the throne with me instead of Anora, but, tradition says an elf can't become royalty."

"You know what I think of your crazy Shemlen traditions." She dismissed.

"I can't say that I am happy with the arrangement either, but there is little I can do to change it."

"And I am not asking you." Zindrafel answered once more. "You know how I feel about you, those feelings will never go away and neither will I. This is just another trial that life has cast our way."

"Anora is pressuring for an heir." Alistair thrust into the conversation with just a fraction of hesitation wavering into his voice.

"Already?"Zindrafel asked, only partially shocked. "Cailans corpse is barely cold." She shook her head. She knew that Anora would be demanding a child from Alistair, and as the words slowly sank in she fell into silence.

"I shouldn't have brought it up, we've enough to be sad about with burying Duncan."

"I let Morrigan have you to save our lives, I just thought that would be the only time you'd be with another." Zindrafel stated with some measure of anger to her voice. "I curse your shemlen traditions; but more so I curse these damned knife ears. I serve the Royal Court better as a servant than I do your lover." She let out a soft sigh. "I just fear that one day these stolen momthents won't be enough."

"That's not true!" Alistair protested quickly against Zindrafels fears. "It's those moments that make what we have so special."

Zindrafel gave him a loving glance and smiled warmly.

"I heard that Oghren finally made it back to Orzimmar?" Zindrafel asked, changing the subject away from the trails of their relationship.

"Yes, and not a moment too soon according to Cook; he spent more time hassling her at all hours for drink than he spent drinking it!" Alistair commented about the dwarf.

"I can well imagine. He was good fun to have around though." Zindrafel said in Oghrens defense.

"More so than Zevran." Alistair interjected almost bitterly.

"You just didn't know how to take Zev."

"He was just far more interested in trying to take you, Leliana, Morrigan. Me! Than he was in trying to help against the blight." Alistair stated about Zindrafels fellow elf. "And he tried to kill us."

"I know." She commented as the countryside rolled along besides them, the further they got away from the business of Denerim the more comforatble she felt. "But he looked so good in a skirt! He was to pretty to kill for vengeance." She laughed.

Alistair raised an eyebrow in her direction.

"What?" She asked. "He is very pretty. It's just too bad that he knows he is and lets it go to his head." She turned away from him and watched the fields pass her by. They would spend the night in an inn near Amaranthine, the tavern had been forewarned that the royal party would be attending during the night then in the morning they would be travelling onward to Highever so they could finally lay their dear friend to rest. Zindrafel knew very little about the Shemlen settlement of Highever aside it was the home of Duncan and another minor noble family who had been hit hard by the threat of the civil war. Arl Howe had besieged the home of the Couslands before the battle of Ostagar for some petty reason or other that Zindrafel couldn't understand; she had little interest in the pasts of the human world, a world that she hadn't been a part of until she'd been thrust into it as the Hero of Ferelden. She couldn't dwell on the complex past of humans who didn't care for it when the past of her own people had been lost to time.

Zindrafel took a moment to think of her own people while conversation between herself and her human companion remained light and fun. It reminded her of the time before the threat of the blight had come to the fore; when travel was just herself, Alistair and the witch; Morrigan. Elven maiden looked skyward a moment, wondering where the mage had vanished after she'd spent the night with Alistair. He couldn't have been all that bad that she'd have to have ran off so soon afterwards! The thought alone made her laugh softly and Alistairs voice brought her back to the less wistful real world.

"Something the matter my dear?" He asked.

"Nothing at all." Zindrafel replied not sharing her secret thoughts, just pressing onward to Amarantine in light humour.


End file.
